


Review of Kings Rising: Book 3 of the Captive Prince series

by yourlibrarian



Series: Reviews [16]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Gen, Meta, Reviews
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 07:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6043963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlibrarian/pseuds/yourlibrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MAJOR major spoilers for Book 3 as well as the whole series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Review of Kings Rising: Book 3 of the Captive Prince series

I enjoyed reading Book 3 but, having just read these all back to back over a week's time, the third is the weakest of them. I wondered at first if this was because expectations have been high for some time, but in examining the story more deeply, I don't think so. 

When I re-read Books 1 and 2, my memory of them wasn't all that detailed. But I found that I had the same reaction as during the first time, even though the plot was somewhat familiar now. They both work to a steady build that peaks at the end of Book 2. It's also Book 2 that has the most tension (of all kinds), and the one where we develop a true understanding of the characters. When reading this again, I found myself racing through both books with that "one more chapter and then sleep" vow.

### The Pluses

I was certainly eager to continue Book 3 and I thought it began well. Of particular interest was the fact that we got a chapter from Laurent's POV, the only non-Damen POV in the story. Since Damen himself never gets the same comprehensive view of what happened during Laurent's captivity, it gives us an insight into how much else Laurent hides that Damen never guesses at. 

I think the POV insight is also significant given the later confrontation with the Regent. Laurent hides things from Damen because he knows that Damen's reactions could destroy his plans. Yet that chapter makes it even clearer how terribly important it is to him that his past with his uncle is never made public. Laurent is incapable of discussing it, even though it would be a powerful weapon. 

But given that the reader has almost certainly figured this out all the way back in Book 1, it doesn't have much punch when the Regent finally plays that trump card. (Also, not that Damen would need a sword to kill him, but if violence isn't allowed in the Kingsmeet, why take a sword to the meeting in the first place?) The fact that Laurent had known Damen's identity from the start is something I'd also suspected during Book 2, so the reveal didn't have a big impact on me either, but this was certainly a less obvious secret.

### The Fanwork Influence

Book 3 still contains a number of good plot turns, which is what, to me, made Book 2 so intriguing. However, despite the fact that this book was never a fanwork, it also seems the most fannish. During my [initial read](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6850450) of the books I pointed out that it played with a common fannish trope and then delivered something almost entirely different and very rarely found. But there are several points in Book 3 that seem very much like fanfic. 

For example, while I quite enjoyed the whole Charls section (and would have enjoyed spending more time with him, frankly -- he's a character ripe for some fanficlets of his own), there's something incongruous about it given the series to that point. Sure, it reveals a bit about Laurent which he'd largely repressed, given his situation. And maybe it also says something about how he's opening up because of Damon's influence. But then that sequence is followed by a sex scene which only extends the notion that this whole interlude is like a piece of Captive Prince fanfic inserted into the story. (There's very little about it that is actually important to the overall plot). 

Similarly there are some moments that strike me as deliberate efforts to get these two characters together, such as Laurent drinking for the first time; the whole "pressed together while hiding" scene; the expression of sexual tension through a knockdown fight scene; and most critically, the one where Laurent finally gives in. While I liked the mirroring aspect of it, where he protects Damen's space and privacy in a reversal of the end of Book 2 -- it seemed a little random to me that such a moment would come at that particular point.

That said, I think the reveal of Laurent's plan at Kingsmeet suggests that he may have given in at that moment exactly because he'd decided on his final move, and knew he had little left to lose. But since the reader doesn't know that yet, it seems a little jarring on a first read. So I feel there are elements in Book 3 that seemed a little forced in order to lead us to the happy ending. Perhaps part of it is that the author's saying good bye to the characters, and so there may have been a sense of "do this now while it's still possible" that guided the selection of certain scenes. The overall effect is that this part of the trilogy seems less densely plotted and less likely than earlier parts. 

The Okton scene is one example. The idea that Laurent would be sufficiently healed to fight at all in a non life-threatening situation, much less undertake that sort of exertion of his shoulder, seems pretty improbable in that time frame. I've been able to buy the idea that he fights with his mind to a sufficient level that he's able to be a serious challenge to many opponents, despite their likely superiority. But that event is an almost entirely physical one, one where his injury and his stature should have made it unlikely he could compete on the same level as soldiers trained in it for years. It's an enjoyable scene in other ways, and the outcome demonstrates why taking time out to hold games in the middle of a war effort isn't a nonsensical decision. But again, it seems too convenient.

Given the final pages of the book, where all her community's members are thanked by name, I think there was a certain "gifting" element in this novel -- not only by giving people an ending they wanted, but also scenes along the way that people really wanted to see. I don't know how much of Book 3 was written by the time Book 2 was complete, but the 4 years of waiting between these last two editions was longer than the time it took to write the first two books combined. I can't help feeling there was momentum lost there that derailed the story. Yet despite all the extra time taken, I found the ending unsatisfying because it was terribly underdeveloped and rushed.

### The Problems

I was ok with Loyse's reveal. Although we literally know nothing about her until that moment in the courtroom, I felt that this was something of an advantage. It played into the idea that everyone had overlooked her, and thought her nothing more than an appendage to her husband. It isn't until the moment she speaks that one really questions why she had come along on a war campaign anyway, if she wasn't needed. 

However, following her story with Paschal's testimony seemed a bit much. It didn't even make any sense. Yes, seeds of his story had been hinted at lightly in his past conversations with Damen. But Damen's Hail Mary pass in calling out for someone else to testify was an act of desperation -- he clearly was still trying to put together some sort of defense. I expect I wasn't alone in thinking that the evidence that Govart had held was of Laurent's own relationship with his uncle, which may not have been much of a secret for anyone but Damen. It's never clear how many people knew of it, though Paschal obviously does. But speaking of it would surely have counted against the Regent had it been made public in this sort of forum. It's stated plainly that Loyse's story is the first chink in the wall because the council finds the idea of a noble child being used by the Regent particularly repugnant. How much more so had it been their own prince, his nephew?

It is not difficult to understand why Laurent doesn't want to speak of it. He tells Damen at one point that Auguste was free of the taint in their family. Among other things, he clearly feels that he was somehow responsible for it, even while his mind knows better. But that leads me to also wonder why the Regent's new pet was even present during the trial. Why would the Regent wish to display that before the Akielons? I got the feeling that the original plan had indeed been to have Laurent's past used in court against the Regent, but that the plot had been changed, and Paschal's story substituted instead. Therefore the new pet was needed to present visual evidence of the Regent's habits before strangers.

The Regent and Kastor die, the main characters all survive, and there is a figurative "marriage" in that the kingdoms will be united, (complete with the final words being "Bells"). So the general ending is likely what most readers wanted. But I couldn't believe that it was the _whole_ ending. I thought the story merited at the least a future-set epilogue, if not a few final scenes of one or the other finally being crowned with some discussion of what followed after Kastor's death. Instead, I felt that even while having a "non-fatal" gut wound, (how could Kastor have failed to properly kill him after a knifing and fall like that?), Damen basically rushes through some exposition for the audience that so we know what will happen without ever seeing it.

### The Missing Characters

It's possible that after having an increasingly tight build over the first two novels that it would have been impossible to turn things up even more in the last part, and that the story was bound to unravel a bit. But I really don't think so. A big problem with the third book, and certainly its ending, is that the Regent had become too much of a reverse deus-ex-machina. We got to see him a bit in Book 1, and while he was entirely absent in Book 2, his influence was a constant presence. But I ended up with the same feeling about him that I've always had about Moriarty in Holmes canon -- which is that he was a shadowy presence whose influence was everywhere and to whom all sorts of evil outcomes could be attributed. Yet the man himself was underwhelming, and seemed more like a convenient plot device than an actual opponent for Holmes. (In fact, I think the idea presented in Sherlock -- that Moriarty is nothing but a figment of Holmes' own imagination and his need for a challenge to keep him engrossed and in check -- would have been the best explanation for Moriarty's existence).

We do see the Regent briefly in Book 3, but he's practically a mustache twirler at that point, not a master strategist. All along, Laurent has been playing chess against a chess master -- but at a certain point one starts becoming curious about that other person, who needs to be more than just a default opponent. Given that Book 3 already broke form in order to present a chapter from Laurent's POV, I think the way to have developed the story would have been to provide more insight into this large cast of characters. (And by large, I mean that it **ought** to have been large given the scale of conflict that's been occurring -- there has not only been somewhat limited world building in the trilogy, but an even more limited amount of character development). 

For example, I occasionally lost track of who characters were in Book 3 even though I'd been reading this story for a week. That's because these characters were little more than names. When you have something to put with the names that isn't as likely to happen, even with a much larger group of characters. For example, look at the list of characters at the start of the book and see if you could say even 3 distinguishing things about most of them?

While the Regent is Laurent's nightmare and becomes Damen's opponent as well, Kastor gets almost no development at all. Yet surely there ought to be something there, given that Damen is not only our titular character but our main protagonist in the trilogy. In Book 1 in particular, understanding his betrayal was an important issue to Damen. Yet Kastor says virtually nothing in the trial scene and exchanges a few sentences with Damen before dying. Seriously underwhelming. It's as if the acts perpetrated against both men had not been done by actual people. Jokaste gets a little more attention, but the issues with her storyline are yet another problem. I don't mind the idea of Damen and Laurent having done a role reversal when defeating their nemeses, but the ending is pretty unsatisfying after the long build up over some 900 pages.

My final complaint is a purely personal one. Part of what made Book 2 so interesting to me is that the character of Laurent became gripping. It was easy to understand what Damen said about his mind, because we could see it in action. For me it was not unlike my reaction to my first viewing of Sherlock S1Ep1. There was something about seeing someone whose mind functioned that way that left me rather breathless. And Laurent would most certainly give Sherlock a run for his money, given that his forte is understanding people and their motivations, whereas Sherlock struggles with people's inner lives and emotional selves. 

Yet while some of the things we see from Laurent in Book 3 are charming, I don't know as we learn much more about him. We do learn some more about Damen, and we are at least introduced to various other characters like Jokaste. But Laurent seems to me somehow diminished in this final book. Perhaps it is because we get the sense in Book 2 of how extraordinary he is (especially because Damen has such a tight focus on him, as he tries to understand him). 

Yet in Book 3, the emphasis seems to be on how relatable Laurent is after all -- that his emotional life is, in fact, not unlike that of other people. He loses his temper, he pines, he's entertaining, he craves touch and intimacy (even if he can't quite handle it). And I don't feel that this can be written off as simply having had too much of his mystery revealed. While it's sometimes the case that people get less interesting the better you know them, at least in the medium term I think they get more interesting, and I don't feel we've known the characters long enough that this specialness should start to diminish. 

I think that a window into Laurent's emotional life could have proved to be just as unusual and intriguing as his mental one. Again, one way of doing this would have been to contrast Damen's view of him with Laurent's view of himself (because we do get, in his conversation with Jokaste, an idea of how he sees Damen in return). I'm sure we're all aware of how differently other people can interpret our behavior and motives, and how disconcerting that can be when it's revealed (all the more so when that person is a romantic partner). And I rather think the book could have traded on this factor to give their developing partnership more depth.

### Possible Solutions

I believe that Book 3 could have been, after the first chapter or two, assembled like a puzzle. The whole plot could have been told by contrasting the observations of one character after another, chapter by chapter, until one got to the final chapter where everything would come together and return to Damen's POV. In that way we'd not only care about Damen and Laurent, but the fate of their kingdoms; we'd better understand who and what they were up against for the long-term; and the sense of mystery would be continued and elevated without seeming like a rehash of what had come before.

Ironically, I got that idea because of the Erasmus back story tale. I appreciated reading it and the insight it provided about a slave's story in Akielos, which is probably the most insight we ever get into their culture. The way that it finishes is never explained outright, but one puts it together because we know what happens later. Yet while Erasmus is not an unimportant character, and his backstory is enlightening when we consider Damen's casually mentioned decision to eliminate slavery from Akielos, Erasmus is rather less important than certain other characters when it comes to the overall plot. Yet thanks to this chapter we find out far more about him than most other characters.

I have my suspicions about why this book turned out so differently from the first two. For one thing, unlike those, this book was not posted in installments but written away from the community it was first shared with. There may also have been changes in who had editing input and collaborated in brainstorming once it moved from being a personal project to being distributed by a major publisher. Whether it's fanfic or a published work, a story can change quite a bit from an initial draft to a version which has passed through beta readers or editors. 

I also got the feeling that the ending of this book was rushed because the author has been delayed for some time and may have wanted to move on to other projects. This feeling is particularly strong because there is a lot left hanging by the end of the series -- enough that it seems obvious this should have been a 4 book series and not a 3 book one. In my opinion this book should have ended at Kingsmeet, with Laurent being taken by the Regent for trial. Book 4 would have opened with Damen's decision to go after him. Instead, we have things very compressed from that moment on.

For starters, why is the entire Veretian council in Akielos? It doesn't make a lot of sense that they needed to be there (who's running the kingdom back in Arles?) It would have made much more sense had the Regent taken Laurent back to Vere for trial. It's already bad enough that Laurent, Damen, and their most trustworthy supporters have left two armies (that have only just learned to tolerate one another) back in Karthas under the command of a man who they've had their concerns about. Keeping a huge army dawdling in an area unprepared to host them is not a recipe for calm, even when they're not longtime enemies.

So the Regent could have delayed their advance by forcing Damen to choose between marching on Ios and returning to Vere in pursuit of Laurent. After all, the Regent has an ally in Kastor and can return by sea anytime (as he apparently did with his army the first time). Such a move simply gives Kastor more time to prepare for Damen's army. Damen, meanwhile, risks losing control of their joint armies because Laurent is slated for execution and he's absent. This raises the stakes considerably and provides more tension, while also making Damen's choice to save Laurent more significant to all observers.

The trial could also have used a full two chapters. What I kept wondering when Loyse and Paschal were giving their testimonies was what the Regent was doing in the meantime? Checking his email? This should be a high point of drama, but other than the unexpected (and unearned) witness appearances, there's no real build to it.

Some things could be the same -- the council supporting Laurent, freeing him, and killing the Regent. Then the two would need return to Akielos at once to keep their armies from marching off and their fragile alliances from disintegrating, allowing for further obstacles and drama. Although this already happened at the start of Book 3, Laurent and Damen were in a very different personal situation then. This time we would get to see how this future partnership of theirs will really work. The Kings wouldn't be "rising" anymore, one would be crowned and the other would have come into his own.

We could also finally get some world building. While the bits of history Damen gives Laurent as they look at artwork in the Kingsmeet is all very well, more important points are totally absent. Does Akielos also have a council? Does Kastor answer to anyone? It's later said when he escapes the throne room that if he should escape then civil war would ensue. But would it? 

Kastor, after all, claimed his brother was dead and buried him. That takes some explaining when his brother turns up alive claiming Kastor sent him to Vere as a slave. What's more, Kastor hasn't been in power very long -- certainly not so long that he should have a huge base of support. After all, if the legitimate heir is dead, most people who supported Damen would have felt they had no choice but to support Kastor. Chances are good that their allegiances would swing back once a choice was offered. It doesn't seem likely that Kastor would really be able to hold out that long on his own, even if he might be able to escape personally.

So whether or not there was an extended war with both armies finally working together, there is still the issue of Damen's coronation and the succession. After all there is an heir now, whether Kastor's or Damen's is pretty immaterial. Either way he is the only heir of the royal line unless Damen quickly sires another. The way that the child and Jokaste get written off at the end of Book 3 seems like a plot point thrown away because the author lost interest in developing it. Yet because her pregnancy had been set up in earlier books the issue had to be discussed. One could imagine Jokaste being more of a thorn in the two kings' side than she was in the plot we got.

And the issue of succession does come up during their chat at the inn where Damen is assuming Laurent will marry. Laurent dismisses the topic because in his plans he is sure he will die. Damen says nothing about his plans to marry, probably because he is still assuming that they are on their way to rescue his son, and thus his succession is assured (if illegitimate). How will they work this out? Will Kastor's child inherit both kingdoms in the future? What role will Jokaste play? Damen suggested she would be executed for treason, and perhaps Laurent would ensure it would happen. But that brings up still another issue.

Damen lost his mother at birth, so it's somewhat understandable that he barely mentions her. Yet his mother is still spoken of more often in the trilogy than Laurent's. It isn't until Paschal's testimony that her loss is even connected to the war that followed. Laurent has never spoken of her. Were they not close? Is it possible that Laurent, for all his ruthless practicality, would hold back from killing Jokaste and leaving the child motherless? There's no way to know.

Speaking of that siring heirs talk, fandom has quite a kink for first times, which is a topic of conversation for them in the scene at the inn. Yet this is something we never get to see and I suspect quite a few people would want to. That would certainly have been a bridge crossed in Book 4.

Lastly there's the issue of the slave trade that is presented in a throwaway line by Damen. While clearly his opinion has changed thanks to his own experience, it's one thing to personally disavow slave labor, and another entirely to attempt to eradicate it from one's society. Damen also thinks to himself at an earlier point that Laurent doesn't actually support slavery either. So it's suggested that both will end the practice.

But if they think cloth merchants complain a lot, wait until they try to disrupt the economic web of the slave trade running across their kingdoms, as well as try to change their countries' cultures. That would be the work of generations not a simple decree. They'll already have their hands full trying to develop peaceful relations between their two countries and figuring out how to handle the neutral zone in between. I could definitely see a future section where this has become their Waterloo, yet at the same time it would be strangely fitting for them to die on that sword given their personal history.

In the end, while I enjoyed revisiting these characters and this story, surprisingly I enjoyed the re-read of the story I already knew much better than the one I'd been awaiting. It seems to me that Book 3 has left the door wide open for fanfiction rewrites and continuations.


End file.
